In the early years of homeschooling our four children, my husband came home one day to an exhausted wife, mother, and homeschool teacher. I looked at him with tears streaming down my face and muttered the words of defeat: “I can’t do this anymore!” Quitting is not something I easily do, so let me tell you, I was feeling low. My expectations for what homeschooling should look like versus my reality on a day-to-day basis were not matching up. I was afraid I wasn’t meeting the educational needs of my children and felt very inadequate. My husband listened to my fears and tried to assure me that I was doing a good job, but I had already decided the opposite was true and I was done. Can you relate?
I asked him if we should consider putting the kids in the small local public school. We decided to investigate the process, and I made the call the next day. The school was matter-of-fact and told me directly that homeschooled kids are usually two years behind (that made me nervous) and that our daughter would need to take an evaluation. Our daughter was at the end of her 3rd grade year, and the school had a couple of weeks left in their year. They suggested taking this evaluation and letting her try school for the remainder of the year. So, off to school we went. She was led into a room with teachers and began the testing process. I waited anxiously in the office like a kid waiting to see the principal. After they were finished, they told me she did well and that we would meet in a couple of days to discuss her results.
When I returned for this meeting, I sat down to a round table of different teachers who had evaluated my daughter. Right away, the lead teacher said that compared to public school standards, our daughter was ahead and that she tested into the 4th and even 5th grade levels in the core subjects. Whew, was I relieved! They admitted that what I had been doing at home was successful.
So I asked the obvious question: “What grade do you suggest she start in? 5th grade?” Oh, no, we would not put her ahead because she is most likely socially behind. We would suggest keeping her in her current grade and letting her catch up socially. A bit of righteous indignation welled up inside me, and I thanked them for their time and drove home to consider this option. Really??? I was a little perturbed that they assumed my daughter would be academically behind, and she wasn’t, and then they assumed she would be socially behind without observing her around other peers.
It seems like most homeschool parents have a moment or two where they feel inadequate. For me, this experience gave me confidence to keep going in our homeschool journey. I was not failing, but I had to change my way of thinking and have a little more leniency in my expectations of myself. I needed some help and communicated that to my husband. He and I worked together to create a better balance for our family.
Perhaps you find yourself in the same position I was in, wondering if you can keep doing this. Before you quit, give us a call. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone who’s been there, done that! Not only can we help with curriculum questions, but we also love to lend a listening ear and offer encouragement to you as you homeschool. You are not alone! ~Amber
