Homeschooling during middle school can be challenging but also rewarding. Kids mature at different ages, and while some might be ready for more independence in their schoolwork, others may need more time with you. This is a transition time, not only in kids’ studies but also in their physical bodies. There are lots of hormone changes, body changes, and even brain pruning happening at this age. Brain pruning starts around age 11 or 12 and can continue until the mid-twenties. It is sort of a remodeling in the prefrontal cortex. Kids let go of things that no longer interest them and form new neural pathways as they focus on other interests that resonate with them. That’s a lot of changes! This might also result in different behavior patterns, such as reacting to things impulsively or having trouble regulating emotions. This period of time can be frustrating not only for you but also for your child. Here are some things to remember as a parent as you both navigate this season.
- Listen without judging. You want your child to trust you and feel like they can open up about anything. Try not to multitask; give them your full attention when listening. Sometimes children just need to verbalize their thoughts and feelings with someone they feel secure with.
- Encourage your children to take ownership of their studies. Plan their week out together and show them how to use a planner and checklists. Teach them how to have good study skills and establish healthy habits.
- Realize your child might need more sleep during this time. Because the body and mind are changing so much during these growing years, kids need more sleep so their bodies can stay healthy. You may need to be a little more flexible with your start time in the morning if you find your child is benefiting from a little extra sleep.
- Keep boundaries and rules. Especially at this age when kids feel like everything is going haywire, they feel secure when they know there are certain rules to follow.
- Instruct and model how to work. Kids can start handling more responsibilities during middle school. When they contribute to chores around the house and learn new life skills, they feel a sense of accomplishment, especially when they learn “big kid” skills. When available, try to give them jobs they will enjoy carrying out and take ownership in.
- Expose your child to different experiences. By trying new things, whether it is a new sport or instrument, learning to disassemble electronics, or another challenge, your child will start to discover what they enjoy and build confidence. My son was not looking forward to trying speech and debate club in eighth grade, but we agreed he would just go to a couple of meetings to feel it out. After the first one, he was hooked! You never know what might resonate with your child.
- Teach interdependence. During these middle school years, it’s important to nudge your child toward being more independent; however, you want this to progress into interdependence. Interdependence is using your own skills while also working with others to achieve a goal. Teaching your child that it is okay to ask for help when they need it and teaching them to help others will establish healthy interdependence. And that fosters another level of maturity.
Parenting along with homeschooling is very demanding. And we don’t have all the answers. But when you keep a positive attitude and show your children love and respect, they will respond better knowing that you truly care. ~Gina
